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  • Writer's picturejillbrooks

HIT or MISS? Venus Waterless Razors

Picture this: Friday morning. You’re at work. While you’re “working,” you decide to do a little Bumble/Tinder/Farmers Only/SugarDaddy4u swiping. A few minutes and hundreds of swipes in, you match with the hottest All-American man you’ve ever seen on any dating app. He’s tall, dark and handsome, like he just walked off the cover of a romance novel or cheesy rom-com box office smash. You chit chat for a while through the incredibly annoying messaging feature on the app before deciding to exchange phone numbers. You’re distracted all day long with the text tone chimes buzzing back and forth every few minutes.... he’s funny, sweet as can be, and loves his mama. You’re SOLD. Eventually, he asks to grab drinks after work, and without hesitation, you accept his offer. Immediately, you begin the process of mentally perusing your closet to figure out what to wear, knowing you’ll be super pressed for time. Deciding on your favorite army green, cold shoulder mini, you rush home and throw on your dress, touch up your makeup and add a little extra *zhush* to your hair. You’ve got to leave in five minutes and realize you haven’t shaved your legs in a whiiiiile.... and absolutely no time to hop in the shower. Solution? Insert Venus Waterless Razors here! An aloe “pod” with a single blade on one side and a small sponge on the other for the lubricating aloe application. Seems genius, right? Designed for travel, last-minute needs, or limited water access, I’m a Venus razor snob and rarely opt for any other brand while shopping, so I was super thrilled when I stumbled across these shopping for my regular razor refills. With my crazy schedule and heavy amounts of traveling, I figured it would definitely come in handy in the future. I tested out this product first on a small area on my thigh (maybe 3”x3”) without water using the attached aloe pod. It worked okay, but I had enough time to shave in the shower, so I decided it would be even better in the shower. FFW >> I’ll spare you the useless details and cut to the good (or not so good) part. First, let me add that I regularly shave my legs without shaving cream or any skin barrier. The skin on my legs is pretty tough. I never have issues with nicking, dryness, or razor burn, and I think this is due to the fact that I spend a little more money on my razors that have aloe pads and built-in shave products. Alright, so I begin the leg shaving process. I’m working slowly, and even though I’m in the shower, I still opt to use the aloe pod for a little extra hydration and “cushion.” I finish up one leg with mainly no issues - just a few nicks, NBD - and move on to the next.... and that’s when all hell breaks loose. I slowly take my first swipe straight up the shin, and in less than two seconds, the skin went from normal flesh-toned to opaque white, to red. Really, really red. Lots and lots of red. My initial reaction was obviously ouch, but after a few seconds of processing what I was seeing, I went from “Oh, did I nick myself? Whoops!” to “HOLY !$?& I think I just cut my leg off” reaaaaaaal quick. Now, I figured that the water from the shower was, for lack of better terms, diluting the blood and carrying it down my leg and all over the shower, plus preventing clotting - making it look like there was much more than usual. And while some of that might be true, after closer inspection, I realize that this “nick” was more like a skin graft than a paper cut. Okay, so maybe that’s a *bit* of exaggeration, but I can honestly say I’ve never cut myself worse with any razor in my entire life. Ever. Needless to say, I immediately tossed that package of razors in the trash & spent the next HOUR applying pressure, cleaning, wrapping, etc. Luckily, the user malfunction was superficial, so healing should be pretty quick, but it’s a pretty large area... about 6 inches long & 1/3-inch thick. Nothing a little Neosporin and time can’t fix! (I considered including a photo of the damage, but it’s a little too graphic for this blog... plus it’s not cute 😜)

Overall, I give this product one star. Yes. One. Some may argue that it’s not fair to judge based off of my own actions that *may* be considered user error, but it’s definitely not the first time I’ve shaved my legs and won’t be the last. I was careful, diligent and working slowly, but this small little piece of plastic and metal definitely won this battle that I didn’t even know was coming. These types of razors used for hair removal are designed to cut hair, not skin, and minus this particular product, Gillette seems to have perfected the shaving game. I expect more from them - especially with their price tag.

The Final Rundown Would I purchase this product again? LOL! Nope. Didn’t even take the second razor/pod out of the box before tossing them both in the trash. Would I recommend? Never. I’d come closer to campaigning AGAINST the usage of the product. The quality is cheap despite what I paid for them, and, unfortunately, they lack the design elements to keep this razor safe and comfortable. Save yourself some money, pain, and ugly battle scars. Most annoyingly, this inconvenience is really putting a damper on my favorite shorts and summer sundress wardrobe. First world problems, amirite?! 🤷🏼‍♀️ 

Have you used this razor before? What were your thoughts?! Do you have a favorite razor? Lemme hear it!

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